Tag Archives: Jackass Presents; Bad Grandpa

If I Picked the Oscars, 2014

If I Picked the Oscars, 2014

Best Picture: Twelve Years a Slave

Supposedly, Slave is running neck and neck with Gravity and American Hustle.  Really?  Does anyone really think Gravity will be remembered five years down the road?  I enjoyed it, but mainly for the visuals.  The story is mundane and riddled with inconsistencies.  Like Avatar, it’s not going to do well in the home market.  Despite the great directing, the film will fade into oblivion.  And American Hustle?  Admittedly, the performances were grand, but the first third of the film is voice-over exposition.  The direction was amateurish and lazy.  If Slave doesn’t take it, I pull for Philomena.

Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity

The direction is top-notch, but how I’d love to see Alexander Payne win for Nebraska.

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

I saw the film in Denver with my brothers and sister-in-law Nilu.  Before the film started, the theater manager referred to it as the “Cate Blanchett” show.  Damn straight.  There were quite a few good roles for women this year.  Unfortunately, two of the nominations went to Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep.  The academy would nominate Streep for taking a shit.  These two slots should have gone to Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Enough Said and Julie Delpy for Before Midnight.

Best Actor: Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave

I’ve loved this guy since he played the baddie in Serenity.  Who didn’t cry when he was reunited with his family?

Best Supporting Actress:  June Squib, Nebraska

She absolutely crushed this role.  If Jennifer Lawrence wins I will throw up in my mouth.

Best Supporting Actor: Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave

This guy is one of the finest actors alive, though he has no chance of winning.  Jared Leto will take it.  Five years down the road, everyone will wonder why.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Philomena, Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope

Before Midnight was awesome too, but Adapted Screenplay, just because it’s a sequel?  The rules in this category are stupid.

Best Original Screenplay: Her, Spike Jonze

Didn’t see it, but the concept is great, and so is Jonze.

Best Make-up and Hairstyling: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

The Hobbit wasn’t even nominated?  I hope Jackass gets it.  Maybe people will begin to realize how stupid this award can be.

Best Animated Feature: The Wind Rises, Hayao Miyazaka

Didn’t see it, but it’s the Master’s last film.  Give it to him!

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